Facebook is for old fogies, white people, pigs, beginners, and 70 others

Here's the thing about social media, people feel they have a personal relationship with the tools. Take Facebook. Look at the many ways users describe it:

Facebook Is...for Old Fogies, for white people, for killing Myspace, for losers, not for business, for professional networking, beginners, pigs, young and the young at heart, amputees, idiots

Facebook is a... big employee distraction, popularity contest, productivity killer

Facebook is like... Ikea, the borg, a gossipy friend with no interesting information, Hotel California, VHS tape,  grade school lunch room, haircut, breeder reactor of solipsistic fatuity,  perpetual wedding reception, bookshop where everyone browses and no one buys anything, Sci Fi fetus that grows into an adult in just under a week, new girlfriend fun at first but then she starts to irritate you and becomes boring and bitchy, like a big drunken game of strip poker that seems like fun at the time, but which immediately leads to regrets about revealing too much too quickly to people you hardly know, woman today, worldwide online phonebook with pictures, except way more intrusive, really good piece of chocolate or a bag of those great salt and vinegar potato chips, candy cake, beautiful and attractive, phone tap, bigger and messier party, with a cacophony of noise and social activity, but nothing that you will remember the next day, drug, giant reality show, mold growing in a petri dish, stodgy great-uncle showing you his collection of card tricks in the trophy room, good pub - noisy, chaotic, and full of conversations from all over the spectrum, seaside condo...that you sometimes have to invite your in-laws to, good mullet,  baby spewing four-letter words – adorably hilarious, even if others object, modern day goldfield: hundreds of thousands of new prospectors stampede onto the site daily riddled with gold fever, creepy and pointless videogame where people collect every person they've ever met, then waste their time spying on all the dumb bullshit they do all day, BBQ in the backyard with your friends, completely personalized National Inquirer about your friends – and the amazing aspect is that everything there is self-published, really expensive all-in-one phone that has a camera, a web browser, and email, but because they’re all squashed into a phone the camera is crappy, the browser’s crappy, and the email’s crappy, giant shopping list with enough personal details to customize the recruitment, deep well that you throw all of your available free time into, delicious beverage that somehow makes you thirstier, even as it tastes so good, person who diggs fastfoods, it's getting bigger by the day, security blanket for your annoying bullshit, it creates a bubble where it's perfectly acceptable to let 300 people know you just when to the bathroom and your pee smells like Corn Pops, girl who wears more and more make-up every time you see her. And you never were that into her, really

Please add your own...

Comments

[fioricet online]

I think Facebook is the fast rising social networking site today. Because they offer a lot of things each member to do. Applications that fit any ages.

[CZ Pendants]

I loved the type ad commenting system very clean and very efficient.

Love to read more from you on the topic above

[Ultimas]

Facebook is "gossip friendly with no interesting information" - I could agree more. But I think the reason why more and more people are into facebook is the idea that the interaction with "real" friends becomes more compared to twitter and the imposed word limit.

[Josh Gordon]

Facebook is expanding into becoming it's own universe. Why? Truth is there is not a lot you can do on Facebook you can't do somewhere on the web. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that Facebook has your personal data and you can share as much of as you want with others.

[brazilian butt lift jeans]

I think it is all about the cultural gap why there is such a different ways in utilizing facebook and twitter - the bottom line is all about interaction!

[online colleges]

This is hilarious, but quite an ignorant deduction.

[Short Hairstyles]

Oh well I must say, there is truth somewhere in all these "ignorant deductions", but still, the bottom line is its market use.

[Serving Tray]

There is TRUTH in all these adjectives!

[Josh Gordon]

I agree. I origailly posted these because they were just fun. But if you read them through you can see that thereis real truth behind them.

[Ed Schwabe]

Facebook is a place where Extraverts who are now otherwise occupied can interact with people and friends like they did when they were younger.